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I had better yammer on about myself for a while.
Brief Life History
Slightly more interesting tidbits about meI'm a big, big fan of the Cleveland Indians. In past years, people thought this was stranger than having blue hair. My favorite player on the current Indians is Jim Thome. Back when I was a kid and the Indians stunk, my favorite player was Rick Manning, the no-hit, gold-glove centerfielder. My brother and I were standing behind the Indians dugout before a game and Rick said, "Here kid," and tossed my brother a ball. Since Rick was my favorite player, I traded a ball I got at a previous game during batting practice to my brother for that ball. At the time, I was amazed that my brother agreed to the trade, since he could have got a lot more for that ball, but when I asked him about the incident years later, he was amazed that I even traded him ball for ball and just figured I took advantage of his youth and robbed him. I wasn't a mean child, really, but growing up an Indians fan, I was well schooled in lop-sided trades. My favorite pre-one-of-the-best-teams-in-baseball Indians memory is watching Len Barker pitch a perfect game on TV (Rick Manning caught the last out) while my brother lobbied to have the channel changed to the station showing the "Dukes of Hazzard." I'm not the only Indians fan with fond memories of that night. My friend Tom remembers the game this way. "It was a rare evening when my parents were out of the house, and my brother Jon, who is six years my senior, was drinking beer and watching the game with his friends, who were all also "old and cool." It was one of the first times my older brother let me actually sit and hang out in the same room with his friends while they were drinking, belching, watching baseball, and being men. I tell you, I was honored. And then to watch Lenny pitch a perfect game with them, I was on cloud nine! I remember watching Toby Harrah dive into the crowd to make an unbelievable catch for an out very early in the game, and we all said, "The only thing that could top that is if Barker pitches a no-hitter." Famous last words,indeed! Then, of course, there was the dramatic final fly ball caught by Rick Manning, where I only remember thinking, "Quit waving your arms you moron! You're going to drop it!" He didn't, as we both know, and the rest, as they say, is history. My only other distinct memory of the broadcast is Bruce Drennan wading through the crowd toward Barker, screaming in his inimitably deep voice, "Get off the microphone cord! Hey Lenny! Watch it, people, stay off the cord!" Poetry, I tell you." I used to be a big Browns fan, but when Art "Go to Hell" Modell moved them to Baltimore, I stopped paying attention. Looking forward to seeing the Browns play again in '99, even though I think it's nauseating that people will throw tons of public money at sports teams when the schools in that same city are awful.
I no longer eat meat because I think it's gross. I heard all the ethical, environmental, health and other arguments for going vegetarian, and they are damn good, quite compelling and hell, I even agree with a lot of them, but I didn't stop until one day in July of '95 I bit into some chicken and felt as if I was eating my own arm. In late '96, I eliminated eggs and dairy from my diet, because I decided that they, too, are gross, although I didn't have any revelations about eggs tasting like a body parts. Fortunately, I live in a major metropolitan area, so there are lots of restaurants I can go to that serve something meatless besides salad. (I hate salad; it's not a meal, it's not filling, it's not satisfying and most of the time it has no taste because the produce used to make it sucks. I really hate it when people who eat meat think that we can go somewhere for dinner and expect that I'll be happy with a damn salad. Actually, none of my friends do that, but the idea annoys me. Salads are for people on diets, and I'm not on one. I will eat salads if I'm on the mood, but generally if I'm going to eat out salad is not what I go out for. Anyway, I'm going to shut up about salads now.) The Seitan Cutlet dinner (with miso soup, two mustards and no ketchup) at Masao's Kitchen is my favorite dish in the Boston area. For those of you who are wondering just what in the heck is seitan cutlet is, it's a breaded, fired blob of gluten. OK, maybe that wasn't the most appetizing description, but trust me, it's damn tasty. I also like to eat at Buddha's Delight because I can eat everything on the menu. It specializes in making "meatless meat" Chinese and Vietnamese dishes. For example, you can get a dish that looks and tastes like beef, but isn't. If you're in Boston you should definitely try it.
Try feasting on these webpages instead of some animal carcass, at least while you're here.
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Last updated 18 Feb 1999
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