For opera lovers everywhere. (Don't skim over the "Italian" titles
-- they're the best part.)

	      Act 1.
	      
	      The Situation: Bill Clinton has been elected President of the United
	      States by an overwhelming margin. The Republicans are devastated,
	      angry and are trying to find their way back to power.
	      
	      As the curtain rises on the opera, the House Republicans are meeting
	      with Ken Starr with the object of trying to find a way to remove Bill
	      Clinton from the Presidency.
	      
	      The opening chorale "We Must Find a Way" (Creato grandissimo floozi
	      scandala) is sung as a sextet. In an impressive recitative, Tom
	      Delay sings "Where Will We Find a Helper?" (Dredgi uppulia una Granda
	      Bimba). The House Republicans exit.
	      
	      Paula Jones enters stage right with a mirror, singing her plaintive
	      "Why Can't I find a Man?" (Mia schnozola es humongo.) Tom Delay and
	      Newt Gingrich enter from the other wing. They spot Paula and sing
	      the duet "Why Not Her?" (La flooza perfecta). They meet and take
	      Paula to a small cafe where they hatch their plot in hushed tones.
	      
	      Paula tells them of her meeting in a hotel with Clinton years earlier
	      and how her fortunes have collapsed since then. Delay and Gingrich
	      offer to help. They sing the aria, "Your Luck has Changed" (Nozjobbo
	      e' rewardo).
	      
	      Act 2.
	      
	      The House Republicans reconvene with the news of Paula's revelations.
	      They sing in jubilation "We must Tell the World" (Fono tabloido).
	      The rear curtain raises to reveal the Chorus of Media who sing the
	      chorale, "Tell Us More, But Only the Truth" (Sexio scandala hypo
	      sweepi).
	      
	      Gingrich enters with Pat Robertson. They sing the duet "He Must Go"
	      (Hypocriti pious crappola). Robertson offers to make time on his
	      television program to expose the charges. At the House Republicans'
	      suggestion, Paula initiates a lawsuit. The Paula Jones scandal
	      becomes the topic of conversation throughout the country.
	      
	      The Chorus of Lawyers enters from the right to sing the jubilant
	      grand chorale "We Must do Our Duty" (Multi, multi grande moola).
	      
	      Ken Starr meets with the House Republicans to plan the next steps.
	      They sing the aria "We Will Save the Country" (Sleezi connivo, la
	      media soccittuppo). Starr promises to convene a grand jury which
	      will send charges to the Congress. He sings "The Truth Will be Known"
	      (Whitewater non starto, il probo la flooza epidemio). The Chorus of
	      Lawyers sings a reprise of "We Must Do Our Duty" as the act ends.
	      
	      Act 3.
	      
	      Linda Tripp enters the stage arm in arm with Ken Starr. She is
	      wearing a headset. She is singing "Monica is My Dearest Friend" (Io
	      sono la wiccida witchi occidenta). She tells Starr about the secret
	      tapes that she has made of conversations with Monica Lewinsky. Starr
	      takes them from her and sings "We've Got Him Now" (Presidente droppo
	      pantaloni). Starr hurries off to the Grand Jury to call Monica as
	      a witness.
	      
	      In Scene 2 Monica enters the grand jury room where the Chorus of
	      Lawyers asks her questions. They sing the recitative "How Did It
	      Happen?" (Panti hongo, la flashi). Monica sings the long passionate
	      aria "We Were Meant for Each Other" (Nonsmoko El Pruducto, Phalli
	      symboglio).
	      
	      In the third scene, Hilary and Bill are sitting in the Lincoln Bedroom
	      talking about the revelations about Monica. Hillary sings "I Will
	      Stand By You" (Tu jercho estupido, io removo tu equippamento). Bill
	      replies with "She Was the Only One" (Non conto Gennifer, Paula, piu
	      multi bimba forgetta). They embrace.
	      
	      Act 4.
	      
	      Sam Donaldson is interviewing Henry Hyde in the Capitol Building.
	      The chorus of Lawyers hums in the background. Hyde sings the aria
	      "We Believe in Something" (Impeaccho hippi bastardo). Donaldson
	      sings a recitative in answer, "We Only Want the Truth" (Toupee
	      eslippo). The great trial begins in the Senate. Trent Lott reacts
	      to public opinion polls showing that the President has a 76% approval
	      rating with the public with the poignant aria, "What is Right is Not
	      Popular" (Partia Repubblico Commitini Suicido). The Chorus of Lawyers
	      sings the chorale "Principles Come First" (Mi adultero non conto).
	      
	      With great flourish, Henry Hyde, Bill McCullom and Tom Delay stand
	      before the Senate to present their case. They sing the somber trio
	      "How Can you Not Convict?" (Evidenso multi flimsioso). Finally in
	      a moving chorale, the Chorus of Lawyers sings "For the Good of the
	      Nation, We Must Acquit" (Senatorios non stupido.) After the vote is
	      announced, Henry Hyde, Tom Delay, Trent Lott and Bill McCollum leave
	      the Senate Chamber singing the grand quartet "We Still Know the Truth"
	      (Wasto multi millioni) as the act ends.
	      
	      Epilogue.
	      
	      The President sings the contrite aria "I am Very Sorry" (Revengo
	      futuro furioso) as the Chorus of Media circles him, shouting their
	      questions. They sing "Who will now Believe us?" (Publicca desgustanta
	      es in media). Monica Lewinsky crosses the stage with her new literary
	      agent, Ken Starr. They sing "It is Still Not Over" (Publishi grande
	      bucchi, dollare millioni), as the curtain falls.